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Back To Zwamp News 07
Back To Feb 07

We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.

Feb 3 07

 A sign from God: Church builds church that with stands wind of 180 miles an hour to be used for hurricane shelter, a tornado totally destroys it, I shall destroy the temple and rebuild in three days 

Red Senators Cornyn and McConnell propose to build a Temple that would double the size of the Egyptian Pyramids. The temple would be to honor the Red leader and thank him for having the balls to take us to Iraq and keep us there. 

McCain vows to build bigger temple and wants matching dollars spent on war! For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips

Pope will send Christian Crusades to keep gays off yellow brick road. After find the part of brain that stops smoking, they have discovered a part that controls ED in men. 

In the space ship "Karl, you have to learn to think outside the box: I am not just the President, George of Arabia, I am a visionary, do you know the story of the Mystery of the Covered Heathens, my nanny read it to me when I came home from Harvard It went like this: Believer Chief of the Heathens Tribe Nogods after dancing and performing pagan rites for three straight days and nights; the Heathens sat down on a hillside, they numbered in the thousands: Chief Believer took a package of tortilla and kid goat, he slit the throat of the goat, drank the blood, and one of the followers put it on a grill and when it was cooked he cursed the goat and tortillas and passed it among the thousand and when the followers had eaten there fill the followers gathered up ten baskets; he then took a shot of vodka and some tomato juice made a Bloody Mary cursed it and passed it among the followers and as they raised there glasses they cried in unison, "The hair of the Dog" Believer then spoke: "I have a dream, a world where there are nothing but Pagans, this world will be void of gay and straight Evangelistic preachers, there will be no crosses or churches in the world.  They cheered and pulled out the dreaded Red Robes dolls and stuck pins in them while chanting, "Ora Ora Ora" and drink another round of Bloody Mary's. A huge cross was setup and Chief Believer took a torch and set it on fire as the crowd chanted, "LOA LOA LOA".  Chief Believer raised his nose up and sniffed the air  and looked to the North; they saw the flying Maniacs approaching them, there was a fierce battle and the flying Maniacs were defeated and retreated with their dead, After three more rounds of Bloody Mary's, the Heathens laid down on the ground and slept and as if by magic blankets appeared and covered all the heathens and they slept warm. You see Karl: Chief Believer performed the food and drink miracles and with nothing but one goat fed thousands and a shot of vodka thousands drink and won the war; this is the way Iraq will turn out, the enemy retreating with their dead, Karl, he could smell the enemy like me. See the Blues cannot see this, they don't have the smell and vision I do. I tell people I looked them in there eyes see that's a ploy. Hey Madam Speaker you can't have an Air Force plane to fly your family and delegation to CA and back, it's reserved for President and VP" American Church United Bishop has taken out $60 million in life insurance on 608 parishioners and listed them as employees Bishop gets 90% Parishioners 10% Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; Backwater Austin, TX ice storms send hundreds to hospitable with frost bite, they wear flip flops all year long. Governors ex campaign manager is now lobbyist for Merck: Gov signs executive order to all girls before 6th grade must be vaccinated for Cervical Cancer: Merck is only maker NEXT