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The Zwamp News
Jan 07

There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try themselves, and those who are afraid that you will succeed.

Jan 1 07

 Denver Post Headlines "Limo owners do good." Bronco cornerback shot and killed at 2:30 this morning, Denver is a laid back town with no enforcement of laws, New study: Crack heads less likely to have ulcers "Happy New Year to the 27% of my supporters, the rest of you may your year be cursed! Just kidding: I am going to issue a presidential degree that I am a Pharaoh: I am going to start looking at life differently: You know 3% of Americans control 90% of Americas wealth thank God daddy is in that 3%: After looking at my polls: It shows 27% of Americans control 100% of Americas smart: yes I guess I am saying 72% are dumb asses: You're either with us or against us: I had this nightmare, man I hope I didn't screw up in Iraq again: on the news they said they mocked Saddam, he won't wear a hood so they put it around his neck and hung him: Dude this took place in Middle East does it remind you of another, they mocked him, put a purple robe and hung him. hey hoss that's scary, uh yea you're right I could have stopped it, uh Pontius Pilot could have stopped it. They put him in a white shroud: I like this white house high rolling, I have this snack woman, I ring this bell she comes in humming hail to chief and ask what kind of snack I want, she is snack mistress er oh snack minister, you know your good with them big words.  The little lady is upset one of the ranch cats ate a bird and got bird flu, hoss that cat runs around in circles, throw it's backup and hisses, I guess we will have it Enthusiast Huh yea euthanize. I am trying to get some imput on Iraq eh input imput there the same and that tight ass VP and Rice eh Dr Rice she gets pissed when I don't call her Doctor are at ranch, she rambles on about she is first in family to get educated and her great great grand father was a slave, she is really an uptight chick yeah better than Powell, he was mouthy you know being chief of generals oh joint chief of staff same thing, he wasn't use to taking orders: you know these people come from humble beginning always want to ramble on: hell man I was born privileged: hell I never had a job to daddy bought that baseball team, Hello partying everyday and night is not a bad life, and I am president and I don't ramble about past yeah well not as much and VP rambles about his hunting and how they did it with Ford. Man it's a good thing Ford is inbombed the way there hauling that body around at 93 if he wasn't dead the trips would kill him: Pop a top and kill a lice: you know there trying to play him as a simple man not a big high rolling Grannola funeral eh grandiose yeah there having three funerals in six days, hell Pharaohs didn't take that long, one on East Coast, one on West Coast, there going to down play it and not have the plane fly over: that's really poor boying it , then burial in Michigan the only place they left out was South, that's funny a New Orleans type funeral yeah someone in family corrected me he is not being buried he is being entombed: Pardon me, hello: I am just the fricking president of the world eh your right USA. Now that Godfather of Soul know how to throw a funeral that gold casket being drawn by them there horses, now that's classy Dude. I will have horses take me to my pyramids" Study finds: men who eat yogurt with live bacteria, more likely to have stomach bleeding. For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you NEXT