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The Zwamp News2005
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March 26 2005

The Bush dynasty almost strikes again: The agencies Department of Families and Children and Florida department of Law Enforcement both which answer directly to Governor were sending police to kidnap Terri Schiavo, but Pinella police said, "We will enforce the court order." Bush backed down. The gall to think above law

After four days Red winner of Red states call Minnesota Indians to offer condolence.

78-80% oppose Red congress & Red leader interfering in Schiavo case

  After Terri Schiavo debacle Red leaders approval rate drops to 45%.

  The poor Smithville redneck was a sleep in his trailer when the angel appeared and said, "Go claim the body of Jesus, the gay and the transsexual and bring them back to "The Zwamp" for burial as they must be buried on holy ground." The redneck said, "I am a poor redneck with an old jalopy pickup with four bald tires." The angel replied, "God will provide." The redneck started toward Huntsville and stopped at a coffee shop in Caldwell, he didn't have any money and he told his story and the waitress a drag queen gave him coffee and breakfast and agreed to go with him. They stopped in Bryan and used the drag queen's last coins for gas. They told the story to the lesbian gas attendant and she gave them enough gas in cans to go to Huntsville and back to Smithville and joined them. The jail keepers would not give the bodies to them until the could embalm them. There was a prisoner named Machaca who would do it for free but needed some embalming juice, the three were broke and went into town and sold there most prized possessions to fulfill the scriptures, "The poor will sell all to bury there God."  The redneck sold his chewing tobacco, the drag sold her red heels and the lesbian sold her vibrator. With the embalmed bodies in the back of the jalopy the headed toward "The Zwamp." In the meantime the evangelistic told the red leaders about the Jesus rising and was afraid the followers would steal the body and they authorized a million red bible crazies to guard the site. The jalopy pulled up to "The Zwamp" with a million red bible crazies wearing there iron crosses and singing "Only we will get to heaven." The jalopy made it's way through the crowd and laid the bodies at the tree of life. 

  Austin, Texas: dressed in burnt orange muumuu 5oo lb woman with burnt orange bible and tattoo on fat arm that reads "Jesus loves evangelists" says, "I only eat what Jesus ate." Didn't know grasshoppers and wild honey would make you fat

NRA says, "If school teachers were armed Minnesota massacre wouldn't have happened."
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