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The Zwamp News2005
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March 19 2005

  Bed fellows NYC St Patrick Day Parade: Gays banned from marching, Fireman boycott and won't march because can't wear green beret.

  Austin Texas: Taco eating Red Rednecks go nuts, red frothing at mouth after city manager announces black owned club that burned down is eligible for $750,000.00 forgivable loan to promote black live music. 

  Federal judges refuse to stop ballot on anti smoking. Bar owners says it will kill live music in Austin. Red neck hick woman declares, "People should have right to smoke, if it bothers people stay home." Red Redneck reasoning

  Colorado River runs through Austin and they have a lot of activates on Town Lake. Evangelist Holy Council wants official Austin song to be "We all gather at the river."

   Born again evangelist attitude: Austin's hillbilly KVET plays three hours of gospel every Sunday and wants everybody to vote against banning smoke in Austin. Father Forgive them for they: Don't forgive them anyone who wants people to breath second hand smoke should go to born again hell.

  Deranged badger attacks Smithville redneck

 Tarnished Lone Stat State leads nation in rail vehicles wrecks.

  Judge Greer of Florida tell government not to meddle in his court, he should be president.

All embalmed and no where to go: Woman stores embalmed body of husband in SUV for two days in Royse City, Texas 

 Cheney the ex head of oil giant Halliburton says, "We can handle $60 oil."

  It's official: In study of 12,000 adolescents, teens who pledge to stay virgins both boys and girls until they marry, have more anal & oral sex. They have more sex transmitted diseases.

  Can't bow out graciously: After UT loses in the March Madness, Austin paper claims Cincinnati powered by Texas talent. Talk about Dip S
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